Thursday, February 05, 2004

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Love is in the Air?

A few more days to Valentine's Day. This is romancing Singapore month. February is always lovey dovey month due to the above mentioned.Sigh~~

I have to agree with Kelly Clarkson's Song. The one that goes,"The trouble with love is...."

'Cos that what love is.

TROUBLE.

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I guess some people will think i am cynical. To write such a negative statement regarding Love.
Who am i to define love? Who can define L-O-V-E in the first place? Is love a feeling? A moment? a connection? Flowers and candlelight dinner on the V day?

I've certainly felt loved on many occasions. The most recent one was the one that when i am hospitalised. Loved by family and friends. But why i say that it is trouble because as wonderful as LOVE is , it can also lead to jealousy, insecurity, worrying just to name a few.

Sometimes the greater the love, the harder to let go.

I've got a great pal who is devastated when someone he love so dearly found someone new. The fact that it can tear someone so sensible apart. That is the power.

I felt my first twinge of jealousy during the early pharse in my relationship. When R4's ex gal wrote him a loooong mail asking him the usual stuff like why he dump her, they are supposed to be together till the end of time blah blah blah. He clicked delete in front of me. But i felt something in my heart. Later i realise that feeling is jealousy.

What am i jealous of? The fact that the love they have is still there. Though he claimed to Love me at that point of time. But I really doubt so. Maybe like. STRONG Like. Love..... still early.

What we have now after being together for 2 years and 1 mth is love build from scratch. From like to love. Pass all the jealousy, pass all the insercurities. the product. The love.

But i would say it is not the perfect Love..... 'cos if it is , i'll not feel the J thingy again. And after 2 yrs, i felt it again. Today. When he gushed abt a conversation with an ex gal that he met...........sigh.





Wednesday, February 04, 2004

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Tummy on Strike!

Its been a while since my last entry. I guess once a month entry doesn't really qualify it as an online DIARY. Heh Heh Heh.

It haven't been a really fanastic Lunar/Chinese (watever you call it)year for me as i'm unfortunatly in pain most of the time. Ok. Maybe it wasn't THAT BaDDDDDD.... but its a discomfort that wouldn't go away.

Everyone joked that that i overate. But who can resists the sharkfins and the buffet and the.... you get the point. I also thought too. I tried antacid, Eno salts, pochii pills but to no avail.
SiGh~~~~

But on the following monday, it is too much to bear, i went to CGH A&E and was diagnosed as Gastritis. I was like WTFFFFFFF!!!! And all the while people thought i ate too much! Sigh~~ Was given 2 days MC and rested at home( So boring!) .

Went back to work on wed. The pain wouldn't go away. But still manage to get to the end of the day and went to A&E.... The "best" has yet to come. I was asked to admit to the ward for further investigations. Sigh Sigh~~

The Admitting Night: Went to my ward. Not bad for a B1 Ward. Nothing much till the next morning.

Day 1: Woke up, ate breakfast, pain comes. Dr decides no food for me. Was on Drip whole Day!!! The drip and the blood taking wasn't much of an issue but the times i have to go to the toilet to pee was horrible!!It was like Sleep... Pee....watch TV... Pee.... you get the drift.

Day 2: Was so hungry and bored that i asked to have breakfast. To try if it still hurts if i try to eat . Ate... pain... so in the end was scheuduled to do a scope(OGD) to see if there is any stomach ulceration.
Therefore no food(again), and waited till about 1430 hrs before going for the scope. The scope come and go as i was sedated. So luckily don't feel much.

Day 3: Woke up, ate breakfast, watch cartoons and Dr came to review. Was told that its not that serious and that i could go home!! WOO WOO HOO!!! Finally out of this medical "Prison".

So now.... i am at home, resting. Taking my medication consistenly. And to think i actually yearn to go back to work.... maybe i'm a worry wart cos i'm worrying myself sick with all the work that i think piled back at the office.....SIGH!!!!!!!


But before i end this post... there is a few people i would like to thank.

1. My parents, brother , mother in law for pampering me and their care and concern even though it is just 3 days in the hospital and no big deal at all...

2. Friends who came to visit me (Sihui, Avia, Ken, Baby Rayner ( really brightens my day!), philip, stuart,kevin, dexter, jean.... Did i miss out anyone?) and also friends who sms me their well wishes..... thanks a lot as you guys really made my day in that medical prison... hahhahahaha

3. Jian and Jeff and also Stanley who help me to cover my work and duties and also working via Handphone to get stuff done. Thanks a lot brudders!

Lastly, to my beloved Alphonsus who not only is so patient and also put up with my whining and unreasonable demands. (Aw... come on, that is what a sick girl is entitled to do ok....:P)