***
Clearing the Air.

Wanted to do a backdated log of what happened to me so far.

Its kinda funny that for the month of june, there are only 2 entries .

After the wonderful celebration of Bb Raine turning one, just when i thought things are going great for me, a series of events hit me like the tsunami disaster 04.

Ok, i'm kidding.

Not that devastating.

But serious enough to almost drive me crazy.

Before i start, i think i mentioned before to update about myself, about why i quit etc etc.

Here goes:

Why the sudden decision to for "early release" ( quitting is such a harsh term! >.<)

Many people think i am crazy. Throwing away my career at its peak. Wasting 8 years of my time to get to where i am now but to give it all up just like that.

Some people even spread rumors saying that i cannot cope in a combat unit or that i got a better job offer outside.

Oh Geez.... * roll eyes*

Not that i don't enjoy my work, there are times when you experience job burnout but other than that, i think this job changed me a lot, toughen me up and made me stronger and better person. The experiences i have in the past 8 years ( from BMT to training to East Timor to Aceh to NZ) i guess not many females will ever experience .

Bb Raine is the main reason to spark off this decision.

Bb Raine made me change my perception in life.
How i used to think i am so tough and all.
That work is everything.
That the world is my playground.
I can do whatever that i want.
But now, even a simple trip to NZ as an evaluator in Feb makes me miss her so much, it made me realised that i don't want to miss her part of growing up to serve all this people who probably don't even remember who the fark SSG Sandy is but i know that if i am there for her, it'll make the whole lot of difference to her, to me, to us.

I am a mother, this is primary, everything else pales.

Other people ask me to ask for a transfer etc, tell me to stay on till the contract ends ( which is may 09), get the graduity and then leave.

Sigh.

Sometimes money is not everything.

For me is simple. I am a combatant, i chiong. If i can't perform my role as a combatant, then i might as well go back and be a nurse. I don't want to hang on to a combantant label, get combatant pay but shortchange the organisation by giving excuses like "my child is still young, i need to go back and take care of her etc etc"

When asked to go, be it a mission or operation, i want to be able to say "what time to report" instead of "i need to check with my husband if there is anyone to take care of bb"

I want to be able to give my all, but in an event i can't, i step down.

Another reason is due to the nature of smellycat's job.

We are working in the same organisation but his is probably 10 times more high risk than mine.
There are instances in our career then both of us is gone to serve and now with Bb raine in the picture, i guess it is only appropriate for one of us to step down so that the other one can serve with no worries.
Knowing that everything is ok back home .

For example, if i didn't choose to leave, i will be leaving for india for work in mid oct to nov and smellycat will be leaving for work concurrently from sep to end dec, which means that Bb raine will have both parents overseas for the period of oct -nov! Not to mention the prep that we have to do before going and what if anything happens to her when we are away? I can't bring myself to think of that....

So after much discussion, a series of interviews ( more than 5!!!) .... i am no longer SSG Sandy Wong with effect from 28th May 07. Back to cilivian life, now Ms. Sandy Wong. Mrs Ong also can.

Wahahahhahaha. Kinda corny i know.

And I will really miss the great friends i have at work.

As for the new job, i will be working as a clinic nurse in united world college ( school nurse) in august.
Really thank God for this good job offer and now in the meantime:
-i am dabbling in property ( part time property agent)- learning the ropes, very interesting actually.
-Trying my best to lvl my priest in world of warcraft ( it is not easy when you are a HOLY priest, many times i really wanted to go SHADOW!)
-Promised Avia to get our Blythe online store up but procrastining ( so sooorrryyy babe! i promise to get it up and going.....soon... heheheeh)
-Spending as much time as possible with Bb Raine.
- Taking care of Papi.

Which leads me to why things are not so bright for me.

My dearest Papi has a stroke.

Being in the medical profession, this is supposed to be part and parcel of life. But i guess that when it is your own family members, things are not so easy to accept. ( The irony thing is that i did stroke as my project for my paramedic lvl 3 medical case study *faint*)

Not to mentioned that the weekend that he got it, Bb raine was running a 40 degrees celsius fever and me having a super bad sinusitis, sore thoart - the works topped with a cherry. I had to rush Bb raine to the children's A&E in KKWCH before popping back CGH to see papi.

Garlic and mummyhelen is not in town at that time and i try to be there as often as possible for Papi coz i know how lonely and worried you can be alone in the hospital.

Till now i really wish that this is a nitemare and i will wake up from it and that Papi is well and all. I know it is just a stroke, as least he is not dying from cancer etc.

I am also thankful for this fact.

But those who know my papi will know that to lose one side of control of his body will be a very great impact to him with regards to his lifestyle and career.
Papi is a life planner with great eastern pte ltd, a VSC ASP in SPF , active football manager for his VSC soccer team, loves to travel, not to mention his martial arts background.

And not to be able to do all these?
*i cannot believe myself to be tearing as i am typing this entry now*

I think he is coping better than me, though still having right sided weakness, he is able to help himself up to sit on the chair after 1 week of physio. And i am very proud of him for it.

The only thing i probably regret is i never bug him enough to impart some of his martial arts skills to me, especially his "chopstick" skills that i wanted to learn badly from him since young.

Sigh............

We also need to sell the current flat that Papi is staying in as it is a walk up apartment and in his condition, it is almost impossible to walk up 3 storeys worth of stairs.

Sigh .............sigh............

Anyway, i always believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger .
So i believe that Papi will be up and going in no time.
( actually it'll probably takes a year before he can cruise like before)

As for me, i think i really need to learn to loosen up, get a breather and not let the stress get to me.

After all, life goes on whether you like it or not.

:p

***
Aye Aye Captain!!

Went to the Navy Open House 07 with Bb Raine to show our support to smellycat.
(Smellycat is involved in the NDU Display segment).


Bb Raine and me!


She is soooo happy with the free balloons!


Smellycat gotta work and silly Bb raine dun wanna let him go!


Was crying for him as he left. wahahhahaha
His frens wanted to take a pic with her but end up like this.

This silly Bb Raine getting more and more attached to smellycat.
Sigh.... Another Daddy's gal.


The tower that Smellycat is gonna repel from.


Can you see him? Cover and concealment soooooo good till you almost cannot see him.


The NDU show! Check out all the Toads! opps! Frogmen! :p

There is this really cute photo booth where the kids can wear the Navy's No. 1 uniform and have a photo taken. Its was really early (9am Plus) and there are not much people around and The people in charge keep asking me to let Bb raine take soooo.....

Bb Raine: Mumi, what are these aunties doing to me??


Bb Raine: Hey i am captain ley. Don't playplay ok. Hmmmphm.




Presenting to you : Cpt (Baby) Violet Raine Ong!


Now the Photo taking session.....


She is trying very hard to keep still but in the end still wanders off in a very "jack sparrow" manner.


Bb Raine: Hurry up la ! You guys are really slow! * authoritative*




Finally she managed to not move for like 5 sec....


Check out her Cutie Pie Expression!


Cpt(Baby) Violet Raine Ong with the Frigate in the background.


She also get to try on the ASset uniform. Now is SSG . Just like her Mumi (used to be) and her Daddy. :p


We went the next day too coz i send Smellycat to work and Chris helped us take this pic.

Thats all for now.

And i know i am lagging in entries, including the ones on Bb Raine's Bday.

So much have changed since May 28th :

- I am no longer wearing green ( i've left the SAF - No more SSG Sandy Wong, now is just Ms. Sandy Wong :p)

- Bb Raine Turns one!

- Gotten a new job ( more updates soon)

- Addicted to World Of Warcraft again. ( hence lack of updates)

Been trying to do things that i've been procrastinating for a while. But to no avail.

Why?

Either i am spending all my time with Bb Raine or power leveling my Lvl 42 blood elf "holy spec" priest ( she is also called VioletRaine) . Wahhahahahahah Kinda wierd when my guildies call me violet or vio.
I am Bb Raine? *faint*

I will update! I promise. *twist fingers*

I am not lazy, just happy doing nothing.

Heehehehhehehehehehheheheh

***
Violet Raine's Yuki.

When i was browsing Dawn's work on handmadelove, it struck me somehow when i saw her "yuki" artpiece.
Its so kawaii and i tot of Bb Raine immediately!
I dunno why?
Maybe the same kinda kawaii-ness? That round round look? Or that little hair sticking out?

Heeheehee :P

Hence I got this specially commissioned by Dawn of Handmadelove-http://handmadelove.wordpress.com/.



Bb Raine's very own Yuki!
My Birthday Pressie to her! :P

Thanks a lot Dawn! Its really lovely! :)

***
(Grand)Daddy's little Girl.

Its a lazy Sat afternoon and both Papi and me got nothing to do.

I was waiting to fetch smellycat from work, and papi as usual, got nothing much to do.

So we decided to bring Bb Raine to Ikea for some Father-Daughter-Granddaughter bonding.

wahahahhahahahaha :)

Papi and i had a great time chatting and testing out all the furniture at Ikea (chilling at their showrooms-wahahahaha)

And Bb Raine's really co-operative. She K.O the moment she got into the car and she was asleep all the way till we are at the Ikea Restuarant ( yummy chicken wings and meatballs!!).

Stupid Papi told me that we are sharing the spaggetti but in the end he ate it all!




Papi and me!( with the spaggetti!)




Purple monster in her Deep slumber.




Purple Monster awakes!




Papi trying to coax her with a spoon, see how pleased she is!




Bb Raine: Ooohh?? * act innocent*




Bb Raine's new possession. My Boo doll from the cartoon Monster's inc.
( i collected it for many years, but since she like it so much.... *heartpain*)


Bb Raine: Its ok mummy, i love love BooBoo for you ok?




Bb Raine: Mummy, i want you to tie my hair like this too!!




Bb Raine: Gong gong ( refering to papi), you don't laugh ok, my hair can tie one
hor!

After our tea time session, we just walk around some more and then its time to go and pick smellycat up.

End of Ikea Trip.

Heh heh heh :P

***
I'll Love you, as always...

15th May 2007: Roy & Ser's Wedding.

Finally! The last one off the shelf! We can now form desprate housewives, not more Sex and the city already.

Wahahhahahahahah.

Anyway, am really very happy for her and she's sooooo pretty! (And very skinny too! Whahahaha).

You can read her full story on her blog - http://serhuey.blogspot.com , no point i repeat the entire story coz her version is very well written. :)

Ser and Me after her make over is done. So pretty!! ( I mean her lah)

Their wedding Lambs! So sweet. The green and pink(so kate spade)hearts are hand sewn with love by Ser's mom!

The happy couple! :)

Ser and Xing ( all grown up!)




Cheeky Bb Raine with Avia.




Bb Raine and me!
( After which we go and attack the buffet that was behind us- hahahahaha)




Our Family Potrait!

Check this out! Isn't this pretty! I got this specially commissioned by Dawn of Handmadelove-http://handmadelove.wordpress.com/ for them . Its called I'll love you, as always.

Aw...................... :p

***
Cool Dude.

Finally managed to coax Bb Raine to take this pic.


Bb Raine: Am i cool or wat? HEhehehehe


Bb Raine: Even my pacificer matches my shades. Don't playplay ok.

Heeheehee :op

***
Let's Play!

Its time for Bb Raine's Gymboree Session!!


Bb Raine: Hmmm... What should i play 1st?


Bb Raine thinks the ball taste funky.


Whose Feet?


Peek...... a.............


BOO!!!!!!


Can you guess what had captured Bb Raine's attention?


Bubbles! Bubbles! And more bubbles!!!!


Bb Raine tackle the Bubbles with a vengence!
Wahahahhahahahah.

Its always so fun to bring her to her gymboree sessions!!! Not only she enjoys herself, i feel so happy when ever i participates with her and its really therapuetic for the 2 of us!

:o)

***
Haircut.

After Bb Raine's Shaolin's cut when she was 2 months old, her hair has been growing slow but steadily.

But the back of her hair is growing faster than her front!! And it tickles the nape of her neck.

MummyAngie and MummyHelen wants me to either bring her for a haircut or they'll cut for her.

*faintz*

Hence, i've decided to bring her for a haircut coz i really don't think i can cut her hair properly.
Better let the professional do it for her.

We pop by forum for her haircut since we are going to gymboree and decided to let her have her haircut at Fantasic Sam's.


Bb Raine waiting patiently for her turn.
Its kinda busy at Fantastic Sam's that afternoon.


Bb Raine: Mummi San-d, is it my turn yet?


Bb Raine: Oh, so you are going to comb my hair with this?


Bb Raine: No worries mumi, i'm cool.... and you can take your hand off me.


Bb Raine: Hmmmm....I wonder how will i look like in the end?



Professional ok! With clips and all. Whahahahhahaha.
And Bb Raine is very cooperative, She didn't even move!


Bb Raine: Mummi San-d, i'm bored, can you get me something to read?


Bb Raine: Later i will use this bigbig comb and comb my hair . Hehehehehhehe


Bb Raine: Auntie, is it done already? I wanna see my new hair ley.


Final outcome! It looks so nice and neat!! The hairstylist suggest us to grow her hair into a bob, hence the cut in this manner.


Bb Raine: Now if only my hair in front grows faster......
hmmm.......

:o)