***
Scaredy Cat part 2
Time Check : 2215 hrs (SG)
Time Check : 0015 hrs (estimated- Guam)
Really hoped that he'll call me but its already so late over there. Maybe he's asleep? Too tired from training? Or he's so engrossed watching his Tv programmes?
I always get so paranoid when i can't get him or get to talk to him. I've no idea why i've became such a paranoia nervous wreck whenever he goes on his trips.
Felt a twinge of sadness when i heard Kris talking to her fiance about what time to meet.... going out... planning their new home etc. It remains me of the time at the beginning of our relationship where everything is lovey dovey and we spend every single moment together...
And at this time when i needed support the most( stupid course that i'm on- super shag. mentally and physically), he is not around. Not that i blame him , but i think that this is the worst timing of the times we are together. I really needed to talk to him , to tell him about my day, to hear his voice, to let him know how badly i miss him.
I really do MISS him. And very Badly.
Signs that i am missing him terribly:
1. There is a sour twinge in my heart whenever i think that he is not around.
2. I carry the photo we took in CMC ( Happiest Pic) around. From bunk to home, home to bunk.
3. The smell of the T-shirt he wore to sleep before he left makes me feel comforted ( as if he is still around in town)
4. Looking at the watch during daytime hoping that 2000/2100hrs(SG time) will come soon so that i can hear his voice.
5. Rushing home and doing everything with the mobile always with me in case i miss his call.
6. No mood to go out with friends. (And i mean really NO MOOD)
7. Looking at the Shamrock in camp and tears wells up....
8. Crying while driving when i heard a particular chinese song that goes " Are u getting used to not sleeping on my arm as a pillow(direct translation)" That is how we sleep everynight! *cryZ*
9. Talking to the furkids to unwind.
10. And everything seems to go cuckoo when he is not around!!! (refer to the previous post.)
Its 2230 now. Think he must be asleep. Think he is not going to call. I better go study for my test tomorrow and to sleep soon.
R4 CoUnTdoWn: 11 MoRe DaYz To Go!
Monday, June 14, 2004
***
Scaredy Cat part 1
This is very interesting.
I think nobody knows that i have an online diary.
Or rather people forgot about it.
Hahahahahhaha
Today i did a very silly thing.
I dropped my car key down the rubbish chute! Was carrying the furkids'rubbish and i don't even know i threw it down. Till when i was walking to the lift and then to my horror of horrors..... The car key is gone.
To cut a long story short. In the end $60 solved the problem and me having 2 extra spare keys .
And the original spare key is inside the car.... sigh.
Wanted to cry very badly ( but the tears can't come out)coz it seem to me that when ever he's not around... either i screw things up or things screw me up.
Like the hammie's leaking water bottle.
The Monster Torts' choked filter.
The VERY SCREWED up Euro CUp 04 1st 4 matches.
SIGH...
My only consolation is that he'll call everyday and i only have around 15 mins to update him on whatever that happened. And i really hoped that it can be longer. But he wanna save money.... so.... :(
I hate it when:
1. I can't get him whenever i wanted.
2. When he only have limited time to chat with me.
3. Everytime he goes GUAM! All the beach parties n babes .... whereas i'm stuck in boring S'pore... SIgh...
Really home he comes home soon... But till then.....
R4 CoUnTdoWn: 12 MoRe DaYz To Go!
Scaredy Cat part 1
This is very interesting.
I think nobody knows that i have an online diary.
Or rather people forgot about it.
Hahahahahhaha
Today i did a very silly thing.
I dropped my car key down the rubbish chute! Was carrying the furkids'rubbish and i don't even know i threw it down. Till when i was walking to the lift and then to my horror of horrors..... The car key is gone.
To cut a long story short. In the end $60 solved the problem and me having 2 extra spare keys .
And the original spare key is inside the car.... sigh.
Wanted to cry very badly ( but the tears can't come out)coz it seem to me that when ever he's not around... either i screw things up or things screw me up.
Like the hammie's leaking water bottle.
The Monster Torts' choked filter.
The VERY SCREWED up Euro CUp 04 1st 4 matches.
SIGH...
My only consolation is that he'll call everyday and i only have around 15 mins to update him on whatever that happened. And i really hoped that it can be longer. But he wanna save money.... so.... :(
I hate it when:
1. I can't get him whenever i wanted.
2. When he only have limited time to chat with me.
3. Everytime he goes GUAM! All the beach parties n babes .... whereas i'm stuck in boring S'pore... SIgh...
Really home he comes home soon... But till then.....
R4 CoUnTdoWn: 12 MoRe DaYz To Go!
Thursday, February 05, 2004
***
Love is in the Air?
A few more days to Valentine's Day. This is romancing Singapore month. February is always lovey dovey month due to the above mentioned.Sigh~~
I have to agree with Kelly Clarkson's Song. The one that goes,"The trouble with love is...."
'Cos that what love is.
TROUBLE.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I guess some people will think i am cynical. To write such a negative statement regarding Love.
Who am i to define love? Who can define L-O-V-E in the first place? Is love a feeling? A moment? a connection? Flowers and candlelight dinner on the V day?
I've certainly felt loved on many occasions. The most recent one was the one that when i am hospitalised. Loved by family and friends. But why i say that it is trouble because as wonderful as LOVE is , it can also lead to jealousy, insecurity, worrying just to name a few.
Sometimes the greater the love, the harder to let go.
I've got a great pal who is devastated when someone he love so dearly found someone new. The fact that it can tear someone so sensible apart. That is the power.
I felt my first twinge of jealousy during the early pharse in my relationship. When R4's ex gal wrote him a loooong mail asking him the usual stuff like why he dump her, they are supposed to be together till the end of time blah blah blah. He clicked delete in front of me. But i felt something in my heart. Later i realise that feeling is jealousy.
What am i jealous of? The fact that the love they have is still there. Though he claimed to Love me at that point of time. But I really doubt so. Maybe like. STRONG Like. Love..... still early.
What we have now after being together for 2 years and 1 mth is love build from scratch. From like to love. Pass all the jealousy, pass all the insercurities. the product. The love.
But i would say it is not the perfect Love..... 'cos if it is , i'll not feel the J thingy again. And after 2 yrs, i felt it again. Today. When he gushed abt a conversation with an ex gal that he met...........sigh.
Love is in the Air?
A few more days to Valentine's Day. This is romancing Singapore month. February is always lovey dovey month due to the above mentioned.Sigh~~
I have to agree with Kelly Clarkson's Song. The one that goes,"The trouble with love is...."
'Cos that what love is.
TROUBLE.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I guess some people will think i am cynical. To write such a negative statement regarding Love.
Who am i to define love? Who can define L-O-V-E in the first place? Is love a feeling? A moment? a connection? Flowers and candlelight dinner on the V day?
I've certainly felt loved on many occasions. The most recent one was the one that when i am hospitalised. Loved by family and friends. But why i say that it is trouble because as wonderful as LOVE is , it can also lead to jealousy, insecurity, worrying just to name a few.
Sometimes the greater the love, the harder to let go.
I've got a great pal who is devastated when someone he love so dearly found someone new. The fact that it can tear someone so sensible apart. That is the power.
I felt my first twinge of jealousy during the early pharse in my relationship. When R4's ex gal wrote him a loooong mail asking him the usual stuff like why he dump her, they are supposed to be together till the end of time blah blah blah. He clicked delete in front of me. But i felt something in my heart. Later i realise that feeling is jealousy.
What am i jealous of? The fact that the love they have is still there. Though he claimed to Love me at that point of time. But I really doubt so. Maybe like. STRONG Like. Love..... still early.
What we have now after being together for 2 years and 1 mth is love build from scratch. From like to love. Pass all the jealousy, pass all the insercurities. the product. The love.
But i would say it is not the perfect Love..... 'cos if it is , i'll not feel the J thingy again. And after 2 yrs, i felt it again. Today. When he gushed abt a conversation with an ex gal that he met...........sigh.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
***
Tummy on Strike!
Its been a while since my last entry. I guess once a month entry doesn't really qualify it as an online DIARY. Heh Heh Heh.
It haven't been a really fanastic Lunar/Chinese (watever you call it)year for me as i'm unfortunatly in pain most of the time. Ok. Maybe it wasn't THAT BaDDDDDD.... but its a discomfort that wouldn't go away.
Everyone joked that that i overate. But who can resists the sharkfins and the buffet and the.... you get the point. I also thought too. I tried antacid, Eno salts, pochii pills but to no avail.
SiGh~~~~
But on the following monday, it is too much to bear, i went to CGH A&E and was diagnosed as Gastritis. I was like WTFFFFFFF!!!! And all the while people thought i ate too much! Sigh~~ Was given 2 days MC and rested at home( So boring!) .
Went back to work on wed. The pain wouldn't go away. But still manage to get to the end of the day and went to A&E.... The "best" has yet to come. I was asked to admit to the ward for further investigations. Sigh Sigh~~
The Admitting Night: Went to my ward. Not bad for a B1 Ward. Nothing much till the next morning.
Day 1: Woke up, ate breakfast, pain comes. Dr decides no food for me. Was on Drip whole Day!!! The drip and the blood taking wasn't much of an issue but the times i have to go to the toilet to pee was horrible!!It was like Sleep... Pee....watch TV... Pee.... you get the drift.
Day 2: Was so hungry and bored that i asked to have breakfast. To try if it still hurts if i try to eat . Ate... pain... so in the end was scheuduled to do a scope(OGD) to see if there is any stomach ulceration.
Therefore no food(again), and waited till about 1430 hrs before going for the scope. The scope come and go as i was sedated. So luckily don't feel much.
Day 3: Woke up, ate breakfast, watch cartoons and Dr came to review. Was told that its not that serious and that i could go home!! WOO WOO HOO!!! Finally out of this medical "Prison".
So now.... i am at home, resting. Taking my medication consistenly. And to think i actually yearn to go back to work.... maybe i'm a worry wart cos i'm worrying myself sick with all the work that i think piled back at the office.....SIGH!!!!!!!
But before i end this post... there is a few people i would like to thank.
1. My parents, brother , mother in law for pampering me and their care and concern even though it is just 3 days in the hospital and no big deal at all...
2. Friends who came to visit me (Sihui, Avia, Ken, Baby Rayner ( really brightens my day!), philip, stuart,kevin, dexter, jean.... Did i miss out anyone?) and also friends who sms me their well wishes..... thanks a lot as you guys really made my day in that medical prison... hahhahahaha
3. Jian and Jeff and also Stanley who help me to cover my work and duties and also working via Handphone to get stuff done. Thanks a lot brudders!
Lastly, to my beloved Alphonsus who not only is so patient and also put up with my whining and unreasonable demands. (Aw... come on, that is what a sick girl is entitled to do ok....:P)
Tummy on Strike!
Its been a while since my last entry. I guess once a month entry doesn't really qualify it as an online DIARY. Heh Heh Heh.
It haven't been a really fanastic Lunar/Chinese (watever you call it)year for me as i'm unfortunatly in pain most of the time. Ok. Maybe it wasn't THAT BaDDDDDD.... but its a discomfort that wouldn't go away.
Everyone joked that that i overate. But who can resists the sharkfins and the buffet and the.... you get the point. I also thought too. I tried antacid, Eno salts, pochii pills but to no avail.
SiGh~~~~
But on the following monday, it is too much to bear, i went to CGH A&E and was diagnosed as Gastritis. I was like WTFFFFFFF!!!! And all the while people thought i ate too much! Sigh~~ Was given 2 days MC and rested at home( So boring!) .
Went back to work on wed. The pain wouldn't go away. But still manage to get to the end of the day and went to A&E.... The "best" has yet to come. I was asked to admit to the ward for further investigations. Sigh Sigh~~
The Admitting Night: Went to my ward. Not bad for a B1 Ward. Nothing much till the next morning.
Day 1: Woke up, ate breakfast, pain comes. Dr decides no food for me. Was on Drip whole Day!!! The drip and the blood taking wasn't much of an issue but the times i have to go to the toilet to pee was horrible!!It was like Sleep... Pee....watch TV... Pee.... you get the drift.
Day 2: Was so hungry and bored that i asked to have breakfast. To try if it still hurts if i try to eat . Ate... pain... so in the end was scheuduled to do a scope(OGD) to see if there is any stomach ulceration.
Therefore no food(again), and waited till about 1430 hrs before going for the scope. The scope come and go as i was sedated. So luckily don't feel much.
Day 3: Woke up, ate breakfast, watch cartoons and Dr came to review. Was told that its not that serious and that i could go home!! WOO WOO HOO!!! Finally out of this medical "Prison".
So now.... i am at home, resting. Taking my medication consistenly. And to think i actually yearn to go back to work.... maybe i'm a worry wart cos i'm worrying myself sick with all the work that i think piled back at the office.....SIGH!!!!!!!
But before i end this post... there is a few people i would like to thank.
1. My parents, brother , mother in law for pampering me and their care and concern even though it is just 3 days in the hospital and no big deal at all...
2. Friends who came to visit me (Sihui, Avia, Ken, Baby Rayner ( really brightens my day!), philip, stuart,kevin, dexter, jean.... Did i miss out anyone?) and also friends who sms me their well wishes..... thanks a lot as you guys really made my day in that medical prison... hahhahahaha
3. Jian and Jeff and also Stanley who help me to cover my work and duties and also working via Handphone to get stuff done. Thanks a lot brudders!
Lastly, to my beloved Alphonsus who not only is so patient and also put up with my whining and unreasonable demands. (Aw... come on, that is what a sick girl is entitled to do ok....:P)
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